I know this is a hard time for you. I suspect you’ve been trying to make things better, got stuck, and you are hurting, likely angry, and probably afraid. But now is the time to take a step toward marriage counseling to find the healing and wholeness you want. I will offer you a safe place to explore what is going on in your marriage.
Most people don’t know what to expect in good marriage counseling. The research shows that couple counseling is highly effective in improving marriage satisfaction and life satisfaction, communication skills and conflict resolution skills. However, this research is based on couples who worked with trained and experienced marriage and family therapists.
As a family systems trained therapist I will help you look beyond the details of your particular problems to the ways you go about trying to solve them. You will discover your strengths as individuals and as a couple.
You will learn how to stay grounded and in your own skin while communicating in a way that assures that your needs and desires will be heard, you will master listening to each other, and you will learn how to successfully resolve conflict.
And wouldn't it be nice to be able to comfort each other even when you disagree and hold your ground when you need to do that? These are the kinds of things you work on in relationship counseling.
This journey is important and serious. You will be challenged and you might be uncomfortable. But you will also laugh...and you will come to understand yourself and your relationship better.
"The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work," John M. Gottman, PhD
"The Rough Patch: Marriage and the Art of Living Together, " Daphne de Marneffe, PhD
"How To Solve Your People Problems", Alan Goldwin, MD
HOWEVER, if one or both of you are unsure about the future of the relationship and you have been thinking about separating I offer you something different. Traditional couple counseling can be harmful for couples who are on the edge. I am a certified discernment counselor. The discernment counseling process is different than what happens in traditional couple counseling and is a method that has proven to be very successful in helping couples get some clarity and confidence about which direction to take for their marriage, explore if it is possible to restore the relationship, based on a deeper understanding of the relationship and its problems.